I thought I'd share some of our Ebenezers on the next few posts and how we're growing one day at a time.
The miracle of pregnancy is obvious. The miracle that came during our first pregnancy with princess I was, while not unbelievable, emotionally indescribable. It was late March 2008 and after seeing my GYN I was set up for a Mammogram and Breast ultrasound. Since my mother is a breast cancer survivor these have been regular tests for me since my early twenties. I had the tests done fairly early in April. Saying that I was very uneasy about the look on the technician's face during the breast ultrasound would be an understatement. The results determined I needed to have a ultrasound guided needle biopsy of my left breast due to a mass that was detected. Finding a surgeon that would recommend and refer for the biopsy was an excruciating ordeal. When I finally found a surgeon who would take me as a patient (apparently these types of surgeons want patients who already have cancer...thought that's what biopsies were for...just saying), I made the earliest available appointment. While I waited for the day I realized that I was late. Not for my appointment, but rather for that certain monthly visitor we woman so adore. I took a test and I was elated to find out that I was indeed expecting. At my appointment the pregnancy was discussed and any potential surgery would be scheduled for the 2nd trimester. It was rough. I was nervous enough about having a biopsy while pregnant. I couldn't fathom having to undergo surgery. Worse yet, what if chemo was necessary. That would have had to wait until the birth and then breast feeding would have been out the window. This is what was going on in my mind.
After my biopsy, I decided immediately that I was not going to miss the opportunity to celebrate my pregnancy and I knew that God was the only way I was going to enjoy this time. The elders at church prayed over me for strength, for God's hand to be with the doctor's and ultimately for healing. The mass was benign and surgery would only be necessary if it grew more. I was scheduled for a follow up the week before my 2nd trimester to decide about surgery and it was then that we experienced our first of many miracles. The surgeon found the clip but she could not find anything else. She spent at least 15 minutes checking the area with an ultrasound machine. And her explanation coupled with the look of awe on her face was priceless. Apparently, sometimes these things just disappear.
We know why it disappeared! Almost 5 years later and I can remember so much of it vividly. The waiting rooms, the biopsy, the weird and achy sensation after the biopsy, the cold office when the doc couldn't find anything but the clip that was placed where the mass had previously been. I don't want to forget any of it because that was my miracle. This relationship I have with the creator of EVERYTHING is beyond description in words. All I have are words though and so the accounts of my life are how I will describe that relationship.
And so I close with this, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning" James 1:17, both the pregnancy and the mass were gifts. They were good and perfect because "...we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose". Romans 8:28. They were good because I was reminded and able to remember that I was never alone. He was with me on the tumultuous ride of the pregnancy, blood tests for Cystic Fibrosis, concern with baby's growth, gestational diabetes, holes in my daughter's heart, pre eclampsia, bed rest, my C-section, nursing, slow weight gain for baby and post partum blues. He has walked with me, run with me, cried with me and carried me. He made me, knows me, and wants me as I am. He is changing me and I can't wait to see the finished product.
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